Life of a single girl

Surprise surprise. This morning when i texted him as i do every morning to see how he is, he actually replied. And do you know why - becaus ehe was on the train back into London.

So we are actually speaking to each other and is very keen for me to stay tonight. Problem is that i don't finish work till 11:30pm and he doesn't think he'll be out that late tonight (though that could change very easily later). so we agree on tomorrow night. Five mins later after he has moaned that i won;t be at the flat when he gets there to change for work (due to him asking for the keys back when Wife was supposed to be coming down)i suggest he drops the spare keys into me and i'll head over when i'm finished - he's normally still awake at that time anyway. He replies that he had already thought of that and he'll be in tonight.

Now it's nice that he wants me to stay but if he hadn't have told me he was planning to do that i wouldn't have known to bring my overnight bag with me and then tonight i would have been stuck about what i should do.

Anyway on other notes, i'm gonna be heading to Liverpool in a couple of weeks to visit NA, we had quite a steamy text session last night, well he texted i got them when i woke up at half 3 this morning (was slightly drunk) and i must say things could be looking up in that department - just a bit worried that his girlfriend is a complete psycho!! but hey i'm the one that's having a relationship of sorts with a married man!!

Anyway who ever said life would be easy!! Hopefully things are back on track with Mr Happy but who knows for how much longer - i doubt even he knows what he wants most of the time.

Anyway best i had better get back to work.

Well i don't know if this is good news or not, but he got in touch today. Strange one though, i google everyone i know, i like to know about people. Anyway when i googled him i found his graduation picture when he was 34ish. So he texted me this afternoon to ask me how he could find this picture. I didn't get the message for about an hour so texted him back and told him. He had already found it so i just text back ok and asked him how his day was going? Nothing.

Why are men so confusing?

On the plus side an ex of mine has been in touch alot lately. brings back alot of memories - we stopped seeing each other because i was seeing someone already. now i'm 'single' and he's seeing someone. But it's making me think alot!!

I really need to think about what i'm gonna do!!

There is :

Mr Happy - 40, married with two kids works in London lives up north. Been great until the last two weeks or so.

Internet man - Been talking to this man on the net, single, lives near me, not my type to look at but we have been having great chats. maybe worth a drink!

T - A customer at work. 39 single, essex man. known him a few years, lovely guy - really do like him his mates think we suit each other, my best mate 'Dolly' has warned me off him.

NA - 44 currently seeing a very possesive woman. Known this man over 3 years. Had a fling with him about 3 years ago, breif but passionate. i was seeing my ex (i wasn't the most innocent thing) i fell hard for him so ran, stopped seeing him and just stayed friends. Saw him last week and it was like old times, sitting and talking nothing more. Now we are always emailing and texting each other. Problem, he works in Liverpool and lives in York.

It's a not so sunny monday morning and is anything i'm not in a particularly sunny mood today. In many ways i would rather Mr Happy just text and tell me he doesn't think we should see each other anymore, or that it's becoming too complicated - whatever excuse married men generally use to finish something they started to begin with.

This waiting is getting on my nerves, i can't believe i'm actually sitting around waiting for him to text back, if it hadn't been for the arguement on friday i wouldn't be that worried about it. the fact the arguement started with a little joke that he doesn't get in touch when he's home as much as when he's in London started it all off. It was said in jest but then the wife and kids were bought into it. Not a good idea as i didn't like that being thrown in my face one bit.

So now haven't heard from him since he got on the train saturday morning, that was only a breif text in reply to me asking how he was and how work had finished up. No have a nice weekend or anything.

So tomorrow morning hopeefully i'll be able to talk to him before he gets into work or at least hear from him would be a good start.

One thing is in a way i hope he does break it off with me because if he comes back all smiles and miss you's i know i'll just fall back into bed with him. it's only have 12. Fishing takes all day could still hear something.

Still Sunday, still no word from him either. Quite proud i haven't texted him apart from this morning but only once today.

Tomorrow he is fishing so should here from him then, normally do.

Although, was on myspace earlier and have now been chatting to a guy for a few hours, very nice man to talk to so a few drinks may be on the cards. Once i've sorted things out with Mr Happy, as much as he is married and cheating, i cheated on my ex and wouldn't do that again, not even to Mr Happy.

It's Sunday the 15th of July 2007 and having always been a keen writer (from diaries to shorts stories) I've always kept them private. Now i think it's time to add a little more humour to the world. Even if it's my humour.

I've not been a single girl in over three years and it's taking some getting used to. After splitting with my ex (my choice) i done what any other girl would do. Met someone else and started a new relationship - personally not advisable when you aren't over your last man. Even less advisable when the new man is married.

That's right i went from being in what everyone thought was a happy long term relationship and planning on getting married to said ex (1st of September this year if anyone is interested) to a Mistress all in the space of a week or so.

I never thought it would turn out like it did. When i met said married man (Mr Happy)i was in a happy relationship and he was just another customer in the pub where i work, over a year ago. Still work in said pub and he still visits mainly to wait for my to finish work. Even the first time we went out, after 5 days of non stop texting and a brief coffee together i didn't think much would come of it, at most i was looking forward to a very passionate night with him and that would be it. How wrong can one person be.

We got on, he was everything i wanted out of a man (not so much now) apart from being married. My then relationship was going down the pan slowly for the last 6 months and i actually enjoyed getting some attnetion from a very sexy older man. So it was bye bye to the ex and hello to being a Mistress.

He was very supportive during the break up, one of the first people i told after i split with my ex, left work and met me for coffee just so i could have a bit of a moan and cry on someone's shoulders. Even let me stay in his work flat for a month until i moved back to my parents and even then i would stay there most of the time.

Things aren't the same, arguements atart over nothing and always boil down to the same things, he's married and not to me. i'm only 23 while he is 40, blah blah blah i'm sure other people have been there as well.

But as the first man since the break up is this what i now have to look forward to. I forgot what men could be like. Mr Happy was and suppose when he wants to be an amazing guy and can't thank him enough for what he has done for me in the last 3 months - given back some of my self confidence that i lost as well as mad me realise i do have a sex drive after all and am not happy about going without. But what i don't understand is he went from someone who couldn't get enough, always in touch whether he was at home with his family (doesn't live in London but works here in the week) or rushed off his feet at work, it was always non stop texting. I was always welcome after he finished work when he was out with his mates then last week i was left waiting for him to leave his work mates and come to meet me!! Doesn't bother texting or getting in touch at all now but i'm expected to be there when he wants to see me. I'm supposed to understand that he has commitments away from me - a wife and two kids to be precise.

I know deep down ending this will be for the best but if it wasn't for the wife who knows, i bet i'm not the first person to have thought that!

But can being a mistress ever work out?

One of the reason why i'm thinking of ending it today is that we had a very major arguement friday night after a very heavy night on the beer - things were said on both parts and then saturday he was off back home to play happy families with the wife who apparently he doesn't love anymore- with a fleeting kiss and cuddle and a I'll see you on tuesday he was out the door refusing to talk about what happened the previous night just telling me it's nothing to worry about that it was a drunken row.

So tuesday he'll be back and the question is - is it worth my while going to him as soon as he calls with his explanations about last week being he was stressed at work (true but heard it all before)

Another thing i've been thinking of - i work in a west end pub and i see how unsociable london is - how does a single girl meet people nowadays , normal people at that aswell?

Guess i'll sign off for now but i'll update it as often as i can.