It's Sunday the 15th of July 2007 and having always been a keen writer (from diaries to shorts stories) I've always kept them private. Now i think it's time to add a little more humour to the world. Even if it's my humour.
I've not been a single girl in over three years and it's taking some getting used to. After splitting with my ex (my choice) i done what any other girl would do. Met someone else and started a new relationship - personally not advisable when you aren't over your last man. Even less advisable when the new man is married.
That's right i went from being in what everyone thought was a happy long term relationship and planning on getting married to said ex (1st of September this year if anyone is interested) to a Mistress all in the space of a week or so.
I never thought it would turn out like it did. When i met said married man (Mr Happy)i was in a happy relationship and he was just another customer in the pub where i work, over a year ago. Still work in said pub and he still visits mainly to wait for my to finish work. Even the first time we went out, after 5 days of non stop texting and a brief coffee together i didn't think much would come of it, at most i was looking forward to a very passionate night with him and that would be it. How wrong can one person be.
We got on, he was everything i wanted out of a man (not so much now) apart from being married. My then relationship was going down the pan slowly for the last 6 months and i actually enjoyed getting some attnetion from a very sexy older man. So it was bye bye to the ex and hello to being a Mistress.
He was very supportive during the break up, one of the first people i told after i split with my ex, left work and met me for coffee just so i could have a bit of a moan and cry on someone's shoulders. Even let me stay in his work flat for a month until i moved back to my parents and even then i would stay there most of the time.
Things aren't the same, arguements atart over nothing and always boil down to the same things, he's married and not to me. i'm only 23 while he is 40, blah blah blah i'm sure other people have been there as well.
But as the first man since the break up is this what i now have to look forward to. I forgot what men could be like. Mr Happy was and suppose when he wants to be an amazing guy and can't thank him enough for what he has done for me in the last 3 months - given back some of my self confidence that i lost as well as mad me realise i do have a sex drive after all and am not happy about going without. But what i don't understand is he went from someone who couldn't get enough, always in touch whether he was at home with his family (doesn't live in London but works here in the week) or rushed off his feet at work, it was always non stop texting. I was always welcome after he finished work when he was out with his mates then last week i was left waiting for him to leave his work mates and come to meet me!! Doesn't bother texting or getting in touch at all now but i'm expected to be there when he wants to see me. I'm supposed to understand that he has commitments away from me - a wife and two kids to be precise.
I know deep down ending this will be for the best but if it wasn't for the wife who knows, i bet i'm not the first person to have thought that!
But can being a mistress ever work out?
One of the reason why i'm thinking of ending it today is that we had a very major arguement friday night after a very heavy night on the beer - things were said on both parts and then saturday he was off back home to play happy families with the wife who apparently he doesn't love anymore- with a fleeting kiss and cuddle and a I'll see you on tuesday he was out the door refusing to talk about what happened the previous night just telling me it's nothing to worry about that it was a drunken row.
So tuesday he'll be back and the question is - is it worth my while going to him as soon as he calls with his explanations about last week being he was stressed at work (true but heard it all before)
Another thing i've been thinking of - i work in a west end pub and i see how unsociable london is - how does a single girl meet people nowadays , normal people at that aswell?
Guess i'll sign off for now but i'll update it as often as i can.
